- 目錄
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第1篇搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白范文 第2篇搞笑勵(lì)志演講稿 第3篇課前輕松搞笑的演講稿 第4篇勵(lì)志搞笑演講稿五分鐘 第5篇搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白與結(jié)尾 第6篇搞笑的演講稿優(yōu)秀范文 第7篇高中搞笑五分鐘演講稿范文 第8篇3分鐘搞笑演講稿精選范文 第9篇搞笑課前三分鐘演講稿 第10篇大學(xué)生搞笑演講稿 第11篇三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文 第12篇搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白 第13篇勵(lì)志搞笑的演講稿 第14篇三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿 第15篇分享搞笑演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白參考
第1篇 搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白范文
今日為各位推薦的是搞笑版的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白
1、大象把大便排在了路中央,一只螞蟻正好路過(guò),它抬頭望了望,那云霧繚繞的頂峰,不禁感嘆道:呀拉嗦,這就是青藏高原!?
2、一只螞蟻看到一頭大象向他走來(lái),馬上把自己的身子埋進(jìn)土里,把一條腿露在外面,兔子見(jiàn)了不解地問(wèn)道:“為何把腿露在外面?”螞蟻說(shuō)道:“噓,別出聲,老子絆它一跤?!?/p>
這兩個(gè)笑話可以讓我們輕松一下,但同時(shí)也能讓我們有更多的啟示?因?yàn)檫@種現(xiàn)象也存在于我們企業(yè)的經(jīng)營(yíng)管理中,這就是關(guān)于定位與選擇的問(wèn)題?我們的企業(yè)經(jīng)常會(huì)出現(xiàn)兩種誤區(qū):要么高估對(duì)手,要么高估了自己。顯然,這兩種思維都是不可取的,原因在于企業(yè)家的思路不清,方向不明;我們既要埋頭拉車(chē),更要抬頭看路。
ibm公司創(chuàng)始人沃森的座右銘是“思考”,而我們是否有每天撥出一點(diǎn)時(shí)間來(lái)靜心思考,我的企業(yè)到底應(yīng)該如何經(jīng)營(yíng)?你是希望成為一個(gè)救火隊(duì)員,每天都忙于應(yīng)付各種突發(fā)事件呢?還是希望成為一位逍遙自在的董事長(zhǎng),像萬(wàn)科集團(tuán)的王石一樣,每年可以有幾個(gè)月的時(shí)間去從事登山,滑翔等戶外運(yùn)動(dòng),而萬(wàn)科仍然能夠照常運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)
因此,今天各位來(lái)這里的目的,與其說(shuō)是來(lái)聽(tīng)我的演講,不如說(shuō)是:給你自己一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì),利用一個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間來(lái)安靜的思考:我的企業(yè)到底該如何定位?我們的企業(yè)是屬于螞蟻企業(yè)呢,還是大象企業(yè)?顯然,相對(duì)于國(guó)際跨國(guó)集團(tuán)而言,我們大部分企業(yè)都還處于螞蟻企業(yè)的成長(zhǎng)階段。
這并可怕,因?yàn)榇笙笃髽I(yè)也是從螞蟻企業(yè)成長(zhǎng)起來(lái)的??膳碌氖俏覀兺V沽藢W(xué)習(xí)和成長(zhǎng),更可怕的是我們停止了思考,因而不再能適應(yīng)環(huán)境的變化!
幸運(yùn)的是,各位今天已經(jīng)坐在了這里,表明你們是喜歡學(xué)習(xí)和思考的,同時(shí),對(duì)于新經(jīng)濟(jì)時(shí)代及品牌戰(zhàn)略這兩個(gè)話題,是真正可以幫助各位的,可以減少各位的摸索時(shí)間,改變我們的思維,讓我們的企業(yè)可以領(lǐng)先于競(jìng)爭(zhēng)者3-5年以上!
第2篇 搞笑勵(lì)志演講稿
導(dǎo)語(yǔ):人生的道路上總會(huì)有高低起伏,你不知道明天遇到的是什么?我們只有懷著希望,勇往直前,不斷克服困難與挫折,成就美麗人生!
同學(xué)們:
大家好!今天,我們?cè)诮?jīng)歷了一學(xué)期的努力奮斗之后,驀然回首看到的是一段格外精彩的歲月:交織了太多的成功與失敗,經(jīng)歷了太多的激動(dòng)與平淡,收獲的是滿滿的幸福與喜悅。今天,我們一起去銘記應(yīng)該銘記的,一起去感謝應(yīng)該感謝的,一起去收獲應(yīng)該收獲的……
也許你曾抱怨過(guò)上帝是捉弄人的,他對(duì)你吝嗇幸福,卻讓痛苦折磨著你,日日夜夜,疲憊不堪,換來(lái)的只是滾燙的淚珠。但苦盡甘來(lái)后,當(dāng)你揭開(kāi)那沉重的幕紗,你會(huì)看清,上帝是公平的,磨難也是一種財(cái)富。
人生如一塊璞玉,這是上帝賜予你最大的財(cái)富,這塊璞玉中有著酸甜苦辣,也許痛苦過(guò)后便是幸福,這是上帝給予你最大的機(jī)遇。只有自己努力來(lái)雕琢這塊璞玉,才能使它成為完美無(wú)瑕的藝術(shù)品。
在這條人生的長(zhǎng)河中,我始終告訴自己,如果你是金子,到哪都能發(fā)光,只要你斗志昂揚(yáng)的面對(duì)生活、面對(duì)工作,你就會(huì)有所獲得。 作為一名共產(chǎn)黨員,,心中無(wú)不閃爍著夢(mèng)想,那么現(xiàn)在就是我們努力實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想的時(shí)候了。
我們要做的有很多很多。縱使艱難險(xiǎn)阻,也要努力前行:追求卓越,真誠(chéng)回報(bào),釋放青春能量,點(diǎn)燃創(chuàng)業(yè)夢(mèng)想?;蛟S我們成不了偉人,縱使我們平淡一生,但這都不要緊,群星閃爍時(shí)我們同樣燦爛,這樣的平凡其實(shí)是一種偉大。 我選擇了共產(chǎn)黨,從某種意義上來(lái)說(shuō),就已經(jīng)選擇了奉獻(xiàn)。青春不是人生的一段時(shí)期,而是心靈的一種狀況。如果你的心靈很年青,你就會(huì)常常保持許多夢(mèng)想。
人生是對(duì)理想的追求,理想是人生的指示燈,失去了這燈的作用,就會(huì)失去生活的勇氣。因此,只有堅(jiān)持遠(yuǎn)大的人生理想,才不會(huì)在生活的海洋中迷失方向。托爾斯泰將人生的理想分成一輩子的理想,一個(gè)階段的理想,一年的理想,一個(gè)月的理想,甚至一天、一小時(shí)、一分鐘的理想。當(dāng)你聽(tīng)到這里,同學(xué)們,你是否想到了自己的理想?人生的花季是生命的春天,它美麗,卻短暫。作為一名大學(xué)生就應(yīng)該在這一時(shí)期,努力學(xué)習(xí),奮發(fā)向上,找到一片屬于自己的天空。青年是祖國(guó)的希望,民族的未來(lái)。每個(gè)人主宰著自己的明天。
第3篇 課前輕松搞笑的演講稿
演講稿是演講者為演講活動(dòng)撰寫(xiě)的文稿,其質(zhì)量的高低直接影響著演講的成敗。下面是小編為你整理的幾篇課前輕松搞笑的演講稿,希望能幫到你喲。
課前輕松搞笑的演講稿篇一
公司總經(jīng)理到外地出差,總要司機(jī)拉著他到處轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)。目的是要為老婆買(mǎi)點(diǎn)禮物。在一家時(shí)裝店里,他看中了一件360元的女式睡衣,粉紅色,很性感。付了錢(qián),總經(jīng)理感到有些后悔,因?yàn)闆](méi)有開(kāi)“辦公用品”的發(fā)票。他很為難,回去怎么報(bào)銷(xiāo)呢?
返回的路上,總經(jīng)理一直想這個(gè)問(wèn)題。車(chē)行至一路口,忽見(jiàn)一老農(nóng)趕著一群豬過(guò)來(lái)。總經(jīng)理頓時(shí)來(lái)了靈感,對(duì)司機(jī)說(shuō):“我給你嫂子買(mǎi)了件睡衣。回去無(wú)法報(bào)銷(xiāo),你打個(gè)便條,就說(shuō)路上開(kāi)車(chē)不小心,撞死了農(nóng)民的一頭小母豬,賠款360元。”
第二天,司機(jī)打了便條,總經(jīng)理簽了字,拿到財(cái)務(wù)科報(bào)了銷(xiāo)。司機(jī)心里覺(jué)得很不舒服:睡衣你老婆穿在身上。花的錢(qián)公家報(bào)銷(xiāo),卻把責(zé)任推到我的頭上,哪有這樣的道理!
過(guò)了幾天,司機(jī)也拿著一張便條找總經(jīng)理簽字。上面寫(xiě):“某月某日出車(chē)至某某路段,不小心撞死農(nóng)民一頭小母豬,賠款320元。”總經(jīng)理拿著便條大筆一揮,簽了字。
過(guò)了些日子,總經(jīng)理又到外地出差,又讓司機(jī)拉著他到處轉(zhuǎn)。在一家珠寶店??偨?jīng)理看中了一對(duì)850元的耳環(huán),付了錢(qián),珠寶店的營(yíng)業(yè)員不肯開(kāi)具“辦公用品”的發(fā)票。
回去后,總經(jīng)理又讓司機(jī)打了一張和上次一樣的便條。不過(guò)這次總經(jīng)理在便務(wù)上改了一個(gè)字,把“撞死了一頭小母豬”改成了“撞死了一頭老母豬”。
總經(jīng)理的車(chē)接連撞死母豬的消息,兩位副總經(jīng)理和10位中層干部都知道是怎么回事。于是,今天是李副總經(jīng)理,明天是王副總經(jīng)理,后天是計(jì)劃科的趙科長(zhǎng),再后天是安全辦的賴主任……隔三差五,就有人拿著“撞死小母豬”或“撞死老母豬”的便條讓總經(jīng)理簽字。
于是,總經(jīng)理召集所有公司干部開(kāi)了一個(gè)會(huì),專(zhuān)門(mén)研究這個(gè)問(wèn)題。經(jīng)過(guò)充分發(fā)揚(yáng)民主,他們研究出了一個(gè)《公司關(guān)于干部外出撞死母豬的規(guī)定》。
《規(guī)定》強(qiáng)調(diào):總經(jīng)理每年可以撞死12頭豬,其中老母豬不得超過(guò)6頭;副總經(jīng)理每年可以撞死6頭豬,老母豬不得超過(guò)3頭;中層干部每年可以撞死5頭豬,其中老母豬只能撞死1頭;一般員工外出一概不準(zhǔn)撞死豬。超過(guò)指標(biāo)的,費(fèi)用不得報(bào)銷(xiāo)。
課前輕松搞笑的演講稿篇二
嫦娥是天界的第一佳人,大家都知道她是玉皇大帝的情人,王母娘娘當(dāng)然也知道,所以罰她到地廣人稀的廣寒宮居住,不準(zhǔn)涉足天宮。不過(guò)這難不住玉皇大帝,隔三差五還是到廣寒宮偷香。
有道是人間一年,天上一日,轉(zhuǎn)眼到了人間的公元二十一世紀(jì)。月亮上的廣寒宮重門(mén)深鎖,唯聞到嫦娥的聲聲幽嘆。原來(lái)是玉帝好久不來(lái)了,嫦娥煩惱。但嫦娥煩惱的還不只這些,近來(lái)照鏡子,她驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)自己顯老了。原來(lái)這天上的神仙雖然長(zhǎng)生不老,但這不老僅僅是壽命長(zhǎng)而已,不是永遠(yuǎn)都年輕靚麗的,要不然天庭來(lái)那來(lái)的老老少少啊?像太白金星,也不是生來(lái)胡子一大把吧?嫦娥的玩偶兼貼身侍女玉兔兒很快揣摩到主人的心思,它剛剛趁嫦娥睡懶覺(jué)到人間轉(zhuǎn)了一圈,那兒正流行人造美女,便攛掇嫦娥下凡。玉兔兒扯著嫦娥走進(jìn)了第一間房,門(mén)口掛著美女設(shè)計(jì)室的牌子,墻上全是頂級(jí)的美女,醫(yī)生一個(gè)個(gè)指給嫦娥看:這個(gè)是芝芝,那個(gè)是小燕子,還有露露……末了,問(wèn):喜歡誰(shuí)?可惜嫦娥誰(shuí)也不認(rèn)識(shí),只得含糊說(shuō):最漂亮的那個(gè)吧。
嫦娥進(jìn)了美女加工車(chē)間,被打了麻藥,覺(jué)得醫(yī)生們?cè)谧约荷砩箱彴?、割啊,這兒抽吸,那兒注入……不知不覺(jué)竟然睡著了。手術(shù)進(jìn)行的非常順利,非常成功。嫦娥進(jìn)的最后一間屋子叫美女潤(rùn)色車(chē)間,幾個(gè)美容師精心地給她描眉畫(huà)唇,染色上彩……一系列的加工后,中國(guó)美女嫦娥就變成了偉大的西方美女瑪麗蓮。夢(mèng)露!
嫦娥摔下一箱子黃澄澄的金子,拉著玉兔兒急忙往天上趕,想給玉皇大帝一個(gè)大大的驚喜。顧不得王母娘娘不準(zhǔn)她涉足天宮的規(guī)矩,嫦娥和玉兔兒直奔通向天宮的南天門(mén),卻被兩名天兵攔住了:站住!何方妖精?玉兔兒大怒:什么妖精,睜開(kāi)狗眼看看,這是玉皇大帝的心上人嫦娥!天兵不信,剛好有執(zhí)照妖寶鏡的天將路過(guò),那天將對(duì)著嫦娥一照:只見(jiàn)鏡子里的人鼻梁硅膠填就,胸脯上也是兩大團(tuán)玉色的膠狀物……照罷那天將對(duì)天兵耳語(yǔ)幾句,天兵忙恭敬地一躬放嫦娥進(jìn)門(mén)。
嫦娥熟門(mén)熟路繞過(guò)靈宵寶殿,闖進(jìn)了御花園,正撞見(jiàn)玉皇大帝在荷花池旁若有所思呢。嫦娥嬌滴滴在喊了聲玉郎,玉皇大帝轉(zhuǎn)身一看,嚇得差點(diǎn)掉進(jìn)荷花池:你,你是誰(shuí)呀?嫦娥風(fēng)騷地一扭腰肢:不認(rèn)識(shí)了?我是你的嫦娥妹妹啊!
玉皇大帝還是戰(zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢地:真的嗎,你也整容了?
嫦娥詫異:你怎么知道?
玉皇大帝不答,只是兩眼發(fā)直地看向嫦娥后方,嫦娥轉(zhuǎn)身一看,大吃一驚,只見(jiàn)眾多彩練仙子,簇?fù)碇晃划惓Q凼斓拿廊俗吡诉^(guò)來(lái)。
嫦娥身旁的玉兔兒忽然啊呀出聲,指指美人又指指嫦娥,說(shuō)不出話來(lái)。那美人看見(jiàn)嫦娥,忽地鳳眼圓睜,柳眉到豎,喝叱道:你是誰(shuí)?
嫦娥則以為對(duì)方是玉皇大帝的新歡,亦怒不可抑:你又是誰(shuí)啊?
美人身旁的仙子大喝道:大膽賤人,見(jiàn)了王母娘娘還不下跪!
什么,是王母娘娘?玉兔兒結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說(shuō):為什么你長(zhǎng)得象嫦娥?玉兔兒這樣一說(shuō),嫦娥才醒悟到,對(duì)方確是整容前的自己。
王母狂笑一聲,輕蔑地說(shuō):我愛(ài)像誰(shuí)就象誰(shuí)!快說(shuō)你是誰(shuí)!
嫦娥大聲說(shuō):我才是嫦娥!
王母也吃了一驚,走下車(chē)架繞著嫦娥轉(zhuǎn)了三圈,然后開(kāi)口說(shuō):呀,你也整容了?嫦娥在人間已把二奶的氣焰養(yǎng)得很盛,說(shuō):啥了?你能把老娘怎么樣?兩名女人怒目相視,突然兩人都沖到玉皇大帝身邊,一人拉扯住他一只胳膊。玉皇大帝覺(jué)得身子快被扯散了,忍無(wú)可忍,一跳老高,甩開(kāi)了兩個(gè)女人:別爭(zhēng)了,我也不是玉皇大帝!我是太白金星!
什么?周?chē)娜艘幌伦尤读恕?/p>
原來(lái)玉皇大帝前幾日和太白金星到人間巡視,看到人間到處是帥哥美女,一打聽(tīng),便進(jìn)了一著名美容醫(yī)院,三下五除二把自己變成了風(fēng)流帥哥,又強(qiáng)制太白金星整成了自己的樣子,返回天庭替自己當(dāng)差。
玉皇在哪兒王母和嫦娥異口同聲地問(wèn)。
太白金星寬袖一揮:看那兒!
只見(jiàn)人間一燈光斑爛的舞臺(tái)上,一名帥哥穿著露屁股的的牛仔褲,滿腦袋爆炸式的五艷六色的頭發(fā),聲嘶力竭地唱著iloveyou!iloveyou!,舞臺(tái)下,各式各樣的人造美女爭(zhēng)奇斗艷……
課前輕松搞笑的演講稿篇三
城里人喜歡當(dāng)老板。
老板是個(gè)女的,開(kāi)了家音樂(lè)茶坊,要找個(gè)打雜和看門(mén)的。女老板來(lái)到民工市場(chǎng),轉(zhuǎn)悠了三天,才看中一個(gè)鄉(xiāng)下少年,他叫木伢。
女老板說(shuō):“木伢你聽(tīng)著,白天你在茶坊的后屋干雜活兒,隨叫隨到,叫干啥就干啥,不許偷懶。”
木伢不敢看女老板的臉,低頭應(yīng)道:“曉得。”
女老板說(shuō):“你長(zhǎng)得又兇又丑又土,可不許隨便進(jìn)前廳,免得讓客人見(jiàn)了嚇著,影響我的生意。”
木伢點(diǎn)頭:“曉得。”
女老板又說(shuō):“晚上,客人走了,你就睡在前廳看門(mén),關(guān)好門(mén),不準(zhǔn)出去,不準(zhǔn)把你的老鄉(xiāng)招來(lái)串門(mén),發(fā)現(xiàn)一次,扣你半年工資。”
女老板說(shuō)完了,木伢仍低著頭。女老板說(shuō):“干活兒去吧!”
木伢抬頭偷偷看了老板二眼,腳步猶豫了一下,女老板像是忽然想起來(lái)了,說(shuō):“對(duì)了,工資每月300元,干一天算一天。”
木伢心里一熱。他們?nèi)以谏嚼锟嘁豢匆矑瓴坏?00元。木伢心里快活極了,怎么拼命干活兒也不覺(jué)得累。老板心里也高興,當(dāng)月多發(fā)了木伢10元錢(qián),木伢說(shuō)你數(shù)錯(cuò)了。老板一笑,沒(méi)錯(cuò),獎(jiǎng)金你懂不懂?木伢還是不懂,說(shuō)好了,怎么多給10元?木伢往家里寄錢(qián)時(shí),留下了10元,他怕老板啥時(shí)不高興了,要回去,到時(shí)拿什么還她?
老板以前吃過(guò)鄉(xiāng)下人的虧,當(dāng)然也時(shí)時(shí)提防木伢,因?yàn)猷l(xiāng)下人開(kāi)始都挺老實(shí),時(shí)間一長(zhǎng),就跟著城里人學(xué)壞了。
靖?jìng)€(gè)月后的一天夜里,老板打烊關(guān)門(mén)后,故意走了一段又悄悄潛回茶坊,因?yàn)樗l(fā)現(xiàn)木伢當(dāng)天有些異常,像是有什么心事。老板要伏擊木伢。
果然,老板老遠(yuǎn)就發(fā)現(xiàn)茶坊里的燈重新亮了,心里一驚,這么晚了,他不睡覺(jué)干啥?待靠近茶坊門(mén)口,聽(tīng)到了里面的音樂(lè)聲。老板心里的火騰地躥上腦門(mén)兒,正要踢門(mén)進(jìn)去,忽聽(tīng)里面木伢在說(shuō)話,老板將耳朵貼了上去。
木伢的聲音:“爹,娘,今天有人在我們這里過(guò)生日,可熱鬧了。我忽然記得,我也是今天生的。可這么多年,我從來(lái)就沒(méi)見(jiàn)你們給我過(guò)生日。都是人,為啥城里人能過(guò),我們就不能過(guò)?不都是從娘肚子里生出來(lái)的嗎?開(kāi)不起生日晚會(huì),在天井里煮一鍋湯面,把同村的伙伴們叫來(lái)一塊兒吃,好喜慶啊!我來(lái)城里快半年了,可還不知道城里是啥樣。老板走了,我就把同村的伙伴都叫來(lái),幫咱過(guò)生日……”
老板聽(tīng)到里面搬動(dòng)沙發(fā)的聲音;木伢說(shuō):“大頭你坐這兒,水根你坐這兒,蘭花、小米、水芹幾個(gè)女的坐這邊,離二禿遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn),他一會(huì)兒就要搗亂……”老板在門(mén)外氣得直咬牙:“這個(gè)木伢!就差沒(méi)把他們村子也搬到茶坊來(lái)了。”木伢又說(shuō):“你們會(huì)跳舞嗎?不會(huì)?咳,怎么進(jìn)城半年了還不會(huì)跳舞?我早會(huì)了,蘭花,我教你。不會(huì)跳的,就邊喝飲料邊看著我跳。這叫罐裝啤酒,外國(guó)的。石頭,你怎么連易拉罐都不會(huì)開(kāi)?來(lái),我教你,拽這個(gè)小圈圈,你瞧,‘砰!’喝吧,喝吧,敞開(kāi)肚皮裝!”
老板心疼得渾身肉跳,她再也忍不下去了,掏出鑰匙一擰,卷閘門(mén)憤怒地蹦起老高。“木伢,你現(xiàn)在就滾!”女老板還沒(méi)進(jìn)屋就吼道,“滾!”可她進(jìn)屋后定睛一看,愣住了,蒙朧的燈下下,當(dāng)間兒就站著孤零零的木伢,四周?chē)艘蝗ι嘲l(fā),每個(gè)沙發(fā)上都放著客人扔下的空飲料罐。
木伢被老板的突然襲擊嚇傻了,半天才“撲通”一聲跪下:“老板,我……曉得錯(cuò)了……饒了我這一回吧!”
女老板突然喉嚨發(fā)哽,鼻子一酸,哽咽道:“木伢,我是……來(lái)給你過(guò)生日的……”
第4篇 勵(lì)志搞笑演講稿五分鐘
在這個(gè)世界上,在成功者的隊(duì)伍里面,很多人并不見(jiàn)得很聰明,在失敗者的隊(duì)伍里面很多人并不見(jiàn)得愚笨,那么怎么寫(xiě)一份演講稿呢?下面和小編一起來(lái)看看吧!
勵(lì)志搞笑演講稿五分鐘
大家好!我演講的題目是《勵(lì)志成功,始于信念》。我先給大家講個(gè)故事。
在非洲的一片茂密叢林中,走著四個(gè)皮包骨頭的男子,他們扛著一只沉重的箱子,在密林里踉踉蹌蹌地向前走。他們跟隨隊(duì)長(zhǎng)進(jìn)入?yún)擦痔诫U(xiǎn),課時(shí),隊(duì)長(zhǎng)卻在任務(wù)即將完成時(shí)患疾病二不幸長(zhǎng)眠于叢林中了。
臨終前隊(duì)長(zhǎng)把親手制作的箱子托付給他們,并十分誠(chéng)懇地說(shuō):“如果你們能把這個(gè)箱子送到我的朋友手里,你們將得到比金子還寶貴的東西?!?/p>
埋葬了隊(duì)長(zhǎng)之后,他們便扛著箱子上路了,道路越來(lái)越難走,他們的力氣也越來(lái)越小了,但他們?nèi)匀还钠饎磐白咧?。終于有一天,綠色的屏障突然拉開(kāi)了,他們歷經(jīng)千辛萬(wàn)苦之后終于走出了叢林,找到了隊(duì)長(zhǎng)的朋友,可是那個(gè)朋友卻說(shuō):“我一無(wú)所有??!”
于是,打開(kāi)箱子一看,竟是一堆無(wú)用的木頭!就這么個(gè)故事,看起來(lái)隊(duì)長(zhǎng)給了他們一箱無(wú)用的木頭,其實(shí),他卻給了他們行動(dòng)的目的,使他們獲得了比金子還貴重的東西——生命。這個(gè)故事啟示著我們學(xué)習(xí)、做任何事情必須要有明確的目的和奮斗目標(biāo)。
聾啞人跳起了美麗的千手觀音,盲人登上了珠穆朗瑪峰,雙腿下肢被截去而重新駕駛飛機(jī)返回藍(lán)天……許多正常人都難以做到的事情,這些殘疾人卻把它們變成了現(xiàn)實(shí),這不能不讓人感到驚訝,也更被它們堅(jiān)韌的毅力、永不放棄的精神所感動(dòng),他們成功的主要原因就是有著必勝的信念,朝著目標(biāo),永不放棄。
“凡事預(yù)則立,不預(yù)則廢”,確定了奮斗目標(biāo),如何才能堅(jiān)持不懈,如何才能永不放棄,那就必須要有行動(dòng)的計(jì)劃、成功的信念,這是你行動(dòng)的向?qū)?,是你挖掘和運(yùn)用體內(nèi)潛能的催化劑。
如果你認(rèn)為自己十分突出,你就真的會(huì)很優(yōu)秀;如果你想象渺小,你就會(huì)落后于人;如果你想象勇敢,你就會(huì)真的無(wú)所懼怕;如果你想象輝煌,你就會(huì)變得很偉大。
因?yàn)楫?dāng)你行動(dòng)之前進(jìn)行頭腦熱身,構(gòu)想要做之事的每一個(gè)細(xì)節(jié),梳理心路,然后把他們深深銘記在腦海中,當(dāng)你行動(dòng)的時(shí)候,你就會(huì)得心應(yīng)手,應(yīng)付自如。
同學(xué)們,勵(lì)志要有明確的目標(biāo),目標(biāo)的實(shí)現(xiàn)要有成功的信念,從現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始,讓他們?cè)谀愕南胂笾谐蔀楝F(xiàn)實(shí)——去感受它們、經(jīng)歷它們、相信它們。相信,不久的將來(lái)你就會(huì)看到它們最終變成現(xiàn)實(shí)。
我的演講完畢,謝謝大家!
第5篇 搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白與結(jié)尾
演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白重要,有個(gè)好的額結(jié)尾更重要!幽默的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白能充分調(diào)動(dòng)大家的熱情,幽默的演講稿結(jié)尾卻能給人深刻的印象,期待你的下一次演講。因此,小編為您分享幽默的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白和幽默的演講搞結(jié)尾,公司的年會(huì)上秀一把,就在此一舉了?。?/p>
【搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白】
詼諧幽默的開(kāi)場(chǎng),能讓大家會(huì)心一笑,放松整個(gè)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)的氛圍。諧語(yǔ)幽默開(kāi)場(chǎng),可根據(jù)不同的現(xiàn)嘗不同的聽(tīng)眾來(lái)選擇相應(yīng)的方式,以下提供幾種諧語(yǔ)幽默開(kāi)場(chǎng)例子:
不好意思,各位,你們來(lái)錯(cuò)地方了,今天的演講取消了;我想我們并不需要什么演講,我們需要的是真心的溝通,那么,我們今天真心的溝通就開(kāi)始了。(一上場(chǎng)就跟聽(tīng)眾講今天的演講取消了,所有人都會(huì)非常驚訝,然后想到底怎么回事?此時(shí)聽(tīng)眾的注意力全都被吸引到了演講者的身上,然后演講者開(kāi)始說(shuō):“我們今天真心的溝通就開(kāi)始了。”接下去就開(kāi)始演講,這種方式最大的好處就是能迅速抓住聽(tīng)眾的注意力。)
“朋友們,有些人真是經(jīng)營(yíng)有道,投機(jī)有方??!有一首《訣竅銘》這一告訴我們:位不在高,頭尖則靈;官不在大,手長(zhǎng)則行;斯是訣竅,唯吾鉆營(yíng);對(duì)上捧粗腿,對(duì)下用私人;吹牛走鴻運(yùn),拍馬不碰針,可以開(kāi)后門(mén),講交情。無(wú)正義之細(xì)胞,無(wú)原則之準(zhǔn)繩,煙酒來(lái)開(kāi)道,金錢(qián)能通神??鬃釉唬骸伪芍小??”
我姓胡,所以我接下來(lái)說(shuō)的是胡言,各位不可當(dāng)真(非正式場(chǎng)合發(fā)言前聲明)我姓古,今天是晚上,天上有那么一點(diǎn)月光,與我和在一起就成了胡了,所以我說(shuō)的可能是胡言亂語(yǔ),各位不可計(jì)較呀!
ladiesandgentlemen,有請(qǐng)我閃亮登臺(tái),很喜歡我的請(qǐng)鼓掌,太喜歡我的不要鼓掌,謝謝合作。。。
這段開(kāi)場(chǎng)白給人們留下了非常坦誠(chéng)、風(fēng)趣幽默的良好印象。不久,在“金話筒之夜”文藝晚會(huì)上,只見(jiàn)他滿臉含笑,對(duì)觀眾說(shuō):“很高興又見(jiàn)到了你們,很不幸又見(jiàn)到了我。。。
【搞笑的演講稿結(jié)尾】
幽默使演講結(jié)尾更富情趣,“余音繞梁,三日不絕”是演講結(jié)尾追求的最佳效果。
在多種多樣的演講結(jié)束語(yǔ)中,幽默式可算其中極有情趣的一種。一個(gè)演講者能在結(jié)束時(shí)贏得笑聲,不僅是自己演講技巧十分成熟的表現(xiàn),更能給本人和聽(tīng)眾雙方都留下愉快美好的回憶,也是演講圓滿結(jié)束的標(biāo)志。那么,怎樣才能達(dá)到這種效果呢?
用幽默的語(yǔ)言來(lái)結(jié)束演講
我國(guó)著名作家老舍先生是好幽默的。他在某市的一次演講中,開(kāi)頭即說(shuō)“我今天給大家談六個(gè)問(wèn)題”,接著,他第一、第二、第三、第四、第五,井井有條地談下去。談完第五個(gè)問(wèn)題,他發(fā)現(xiàn)離散會(huì)的時(shí)間不多了,于是他提高嗓門(mén),一本正經(jīng)地說(shuō):“第六,散會(huì)?!甭?tīng)眾起初一愣,不久就歡快地鼓起掌來(lái)。
老舍在這里運(yùn)用的就是一種“平地起波瀾”的造勢(shì)藝術(shù),打破了正常的演講內(nèi)容,從而出乎聽(tīng)眾的意料,收到了幽默的效果。
第6篇 搞笑的演講稿優(yōu)秀范文
今天是我第一次和雅虎的朋友們面對(duì)面交流。我希望把我成功的經(jīng)驗(yàn)和大家分享,盡管我認(rèn)為你們其中的絕大多數(shù)勤勞聰明的人都無(wú)法從中獲益,但我堅(jiān)信,一定有個(gè)別懶得去判斷我講的是否正確就效仿的人,可以獲益匪淺。 讓我們開(kāi)啟今天的話題吧!
世界上很多非常聰明并且受過(guò)高等教育的人,無(wú)法成功,就是因?yàn)樗麄儚男【褪艿搅隋e(cuò)誤的教育,他們養(yǎng)成了勤勞的惡習(xí)。很多人都記得愛(ài)迪生說(shuō)的那句話吧:天才就是99%的汗水加上1%的靈感。并且被這句話誤導(dǎo)了一生,勤勤懇懇地奮斗,最終卻碌碌無(wú)為。其實(shí)愛(ài)迪生是因?yàn)閼械孟胨晒Φ脑颍跃途幜诉@句話來(lái)誤導(dǎo)我們。
很多人可能認(rèn)為我是在胡說(shuō)八道,好,讓我用100個(gè)例子來(lái)證實(shí)你們的錯(cuò)誤吧!事實(shí)勝于雄辯。 世界上最富的人,比爾·蓋茨,他是個(gè)程序員,懶得讀書(shū),他就退學(xué)了,他又懶得記那些復(fù)雜的dos命令,于是他就編了個(gè)圖形的界面程序——叫什么來(lái)著?我忘了,懶得記這些東西。于是全世界的電腦都長(zhǎng)著相同的臉,而成了世界首富。 世界上最值錢(qián)的品牌,可口可樂(lè),他的老板更懶,盡管中國(guó)的茶文化歷史悠久,巴西的咖啡香味濃郁,但他實(shí)在太懶了,弄點(diǎn)糖精加上涼水,裝瓶就賣(mài)。于是全世界有人的地方,大家都在喝那種像血一樣的液體。
世界上最好的足球運(yùn)動(dòng)員,羅納爾多,他在場(chǎng)上連動(dòng)都懶得動(dòng),就在對(duì)方的門(mén)前站著,等球砸到他的時(shí)候,踢一腳。這就是全世界身價(jià)最高的運(yùn)動(dòng)員了。有的人說(shuō),他帶球的速度驚人,那是廢話,別人一場(chǎng)跑90分鐘,他就跑15秒,當(dāng)然要快些了。
世界上最厲害的餐飲業(yè),麥當(dāng)勞,它的老板也是懶得出奇,懶得學(xué)習(xí)法國(guó)大餐的精美,懶得掌握中餐的復(fù)雜技巧,弄兩片破面包夾塊就賣(mài),結(jié)果全世界都能看到那個(gè)m的標(biāo)志。必勝客的老板,懶得把餡餅的餡裝進(jìn)去直接撒在發(fā)面餅上邊就賣(mài),結(jié)果大家都管那叫plzza比10張餡餅還貴。
還有更聰明的懶人,懶得爬樓,于是他們發(fā)明了電梯。
懶得走路,于是他們制造出汽車(chē)、火車(chē)和飛機(jī)。
懶得一個(gè)一個(gè)地殺人,于是他們發(fā)明了原子彈。
懶得每次計(jì)算,于是他們發(fā)明了數(shù)學(xué)公式。
懶得出去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì),于是他們發(fā)明了唱片、磁帶和cd。
這樣的例子太多了,我都懶得再說(shuō)了。
還有那句廢話也要提一下:生命在于運(yùn)動(dòng)。你見(jiàn)過(guò)哪個(gè)運(yùn)動(dòng)員長(zhǎng)壽了?世界上最長(zhǎng)壽的人還是那些連肉都懶得吃的和尚。
如果沒(méi)有這些懶人,我們現(xiàn)在生活在什么樣的環(huán)境里,我都懶得想。
人是這樣,動(dòng)物也是如此。世界上最長(zhǎng)壽的動(dòng)物是烏龜,它們一輩子幾乎不怎么動(dòng),就趴在那里,結(jié)果能活一千年,它們懶得走,但和勤勞好動(dòng)的兔子賽跑,誰(shuí)贏了?牛最勤快,結(jié)果人們給它吃草,卻還要擠它的奶。熊貓傻了吧唧的,什么也不干,抱著竹子能啃一天,人們親昵地稱它為“國(guó)寶”。
回到我們工作中,看看你公司里每天最早來(lái)最晚走,一天像發(fā)條一樣忙個(gè)不停的人,他是不是工資最低的?那個(gè)每天游手好閑,沒(méi)事就發(fā)呆的家伙,是不是工資最高?據(jù)說(shuō)還有不少公司股票呢!
我以上所舉的例子,只是想說(shuō)明一個(gè)問(wèn)題,這個(gè)世界實(shí)際上靠懶人來(lái)支撐的。世界如此精彩都是拜懶人所賜?,F(xiàn)在你應(yīng)該知道你不成功的主要原因了吧!
懶不是傻懶,如果你想少干,就要想出懶的辦法,要懶出風(fēng)格,懶出境界。像我從小就懶,連肉都懶得長(zhǎng),這就是境界。
第7篇 高中搞笑五分鐘演講稿范文
還記得高中時(shí)期老師會(huì)經(jīng)常要求學(xué)生上臺(tái)去做課前的五分鐘演講,那時(shí)候總覺(jué)得沒(méi)什么話題,演講的內(nèi)容也比較枯燥無(wú)趣。其實(shí),這個(gè)時(shí)候可以做幽默的演講哦,還能活躍課堂的氣氛。下面是小編為你整理的幾篇高中搞笑五分鐘演講稿范文,希望能幫到你喲。
高中搞笑五分鐘演講稿范文篇一
狂天是我第一次和雅虎的朋友們面對(duì)面交流,幽默搞笑演講稿。我希望把我成功的經(jīng)驗(yàn)和大家分享,盡管我認(rèn)為你們其中的絕大多數(shù)勤勞聰明的人都無(wú)法從中獲益,但我堅(jiān)信,一定有個(gè)別懶得去判斷我講的是否正確就效仿的人,可以獲益匪淺。
讓我們開(kāi)啟今天的話題吧!
世界上很多非常聰明并且受過(guò)高等教育的人,無(wú)法成功,就是因?yàn)樗麄儚男【褪艿搅隋e(cuò)誤的教育,他們養(yǎng)成了勤勞的惡習(xí)。很多人都記得愛(ài)迪生說(shuō)的那句話吧:天才就是99%的汗水加上1%的靈感。并且被這句話誤導(dǎo)了一生,勤勤懇懇地奮斗,最終卻碌碌無(wú)為。其實(shí)愛(ài)迪生是因?yàn)閼械孟胨晒Φ脑?,所以就編了這句話來(lái)誤導(dǎo)我們。
很多人可能認(rèn)為我是在胡說(shuō)八道,好,讓我用100個(gè)例子來(lái)證實(shí)你們的錯(cuò)誤吧!事實(shí)勝于雄辯。
世界上最富的人,比爾·蓋茨,他是個(gè)程序員,懶得讀書(shū),他就退學(xué)了,他又懶得記那些復(fù)雜的dos命令,于是他就編了個(gè)圖形的界面程序——叫什么來(lái)著?我忘了,懶得記這些東西。于是全世界的電腦都長(zhǎng)著相同的臉,而成了世界首富。
世界上最值錢(qián)的品牌,可口可樂(lè),他的老板更懶,盡管中國(guó)的茶文化歷史悠久,巴西的咖啡香味濃郁,但他實(shí)在太懶了,弄點(diǎn)糖精加上涼水,裝瓶就賣(mài)。于是全世界有人的地方,大家都在喝那種像血一樣的液體。
世界上最好的足球運(yùn)動(dòng)員,羅納爾多,他在場(chǎng)上連動(dòng)都懶得動(dòng),就在對(duì)方的門(mén)前站著,等球砸到他的時(shí)候,踢一腳。這就是全世界身價(jià)最高的運(yùn)動(dòng)員了。有的人說(shuō),他帶球的速度驚人,那是廢話,別人一場(chǎng)跑90分鐘,他就跑15秒,當(dāng)然要快些了。
世界上最厲害的餐飲業(yè),麥當(dāng)勞,它的老板也是懶得出奇,懶得學(xué)習(xí)法國(guó)大餐的精美,懶得掌握中餐的復(fù)雜技巧,弄兩片破面包夾塊就賣(mài),結(jié)果全世界都能看到那個(gè)m的標(biāo)志。必勝客的老板,懶得把餡餅的餡裝進(jìn)去直接撒在發(fā)面餅上邊就賣(mài),結(jié)果大家都管那叫plzza比10張餡餅還貴。
還有更聰明的懶人,懶得爬樓,于是他們發(fā)明了電梯。
懶得走路,于是他們制造出汽車(chē)、火車(chē)和飛機(jī)。
懶得一個(gè)一個(gè)地殺人,于是他們發(fā)明了原子彈。
懶得每次計(jì)算,于是他們發(fā)明了數(shù)學(xué)公式。
懶得出去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì),于是他們發(fā)明了唱片、磁帶和cd。
這樣的例子太多了,我都懶得再說(shuō)了。
還有那句廢話也要提一下:生命在于運(yùn)動(dòng)。你見(jiàn)過(guò)哪個(gè)運(yùn)動(dòng)員長(zhǎng)壽了?世界上最長(zhǎng)壽的人還是那些連肉都懶得吃的和尚。
如果沒(méi)有這些懶人,我們現(xiàn)在生活在什么樣的環(huán)境里,我都懶得想。
人是這樣,動(dòng)物也是如此。世界上最長(zhǎng)壽的動(dòng)物是烏龜,它們一輩子幾乎不怎么動(dòng),就趴在那里,結(jié)果能活一千年,它們懶得走,但和勤勞好動(dòng)的兔子賽跑,誰(shuí)贏了?牛最勤快,結(jié)果人們給它吃草,卻還要擠它的奶。熊貓傻了吧唧的,什么也不干,抱著竹子能啃一天,人們親昵地稱它為“國(guó)寶”。
回到我們工作中,看看你公司里每天最早來(lái)最晚走,一天像發(fā)條一樣忙個(gè)不停的人,他是不是工資最低的?那個(gè)每天游手好閑,沒(méi)事就發(fā)呆的家伙,是不是工資最高?據(jù)說(shuō)還有不少公司股票呢!
我以上所舉的例子,只是想說(shuō)明一個(gè)問(wèn)題,這個(gè)世界實(shí)際上靠懶人來(lái)支撐的。世界如此精彩都是拜懶人所賜?,F(xiàn)在你應(yīng)該知道你不成功的主要原因了吧!
懶不是傻懶,如果你想少干,就要想出懶的辦法,要懶出風(fēng)格,懶出境界。像我從小就懶,連肉都懶得長(zhǎng),這就是境界。
看到了吧,像是這樣風(fēng)趣十足的演講是真的比較受大家的歡迎哦。否則,一個(gè)不生動(dòng)的演講就很像是老師講課——讓人昏昏欲睡呢。也不難發(fā)現(xiàn)在今天的社會(huì),演講者都開(kāi)始變得幽默風(fēng)趣了起來(lái),這證明,勵(lì)志又幽默的演講是真的很受大家喜愛(ài)。
如果可以的話,你想不想發(fā)表一次幽默勵(lì)志的演講呢,如果想的話,那就趕快行動(dòng)起來(lái)吧!
高中搞笑五分鐘演講稿范文篇二
在座的老師同學(xué)們:
你們看窗外陽(yáng)光多好,知道為什么嗎?因?yàn)榻裉煳已葜v。
我先介紹一個(gè)我自己吧,我叫張學(xué)友,張是弓加一個(gè)長(zhǎng)字,學(xué)是好好學(xué)習(xí)的習(xí)字,友呢是張學(xué)友的友,性別為男。出生年月作為隱私不便透露。我很高興能站在這里,首先請(qǐng)?jiān)试S我代表全國(guó)人民向在家問(wèn)聲好。能站在這里我也鼓了很大的勇氣,就像是對(duì)一個(gè)單戀已久的女孩去表白一樣,心里沒(méi)底啊。我竟選的是班長(zhǎng),同學(xué)們會(huì)對(duì)我信任嗎。還有一點(diǎn)是你有沒(méi)有這個(gè)能力去擔(dān)當(dāng)班長(zhǎng)一職呢。這對(duì)你們來(lái)說(shuō)都是個(gè)有待解決的問(wèn)題。但我可以很負(fù)責(zé)任地告訴大家,我有這個(gè)信心也有這個(gè)能力做好班長(zhǎng)所應(yīng)做的每一件事,我很不想說(shuō)我以前擔(dān)任過(guò)什么,這都是一個(gè)過(guò)去,我面對(duì)的是我的新同學(xué),新朋友我想這會(huì)是個(gè)全新的開(kāi)始,你們也看到我理了個(gè)頭,而且理得很短,因?yàn)槲蚁霃念^開(kāi)始。我也不想談我當(dāng)了班長(zhǎng)如何如何,當(dāng)上跟沒(méi)當(dāng)是兩回事,況現(xiàn)在至少還不是,大談特談是很虛的東西,說(shuō)跟做是兩回事,我怕我說(shuō)得到而做不得,一切得看平時(shí)表現(xiàn)吧。
我這個(gè)人也沒(méi)什么特點(diǎn),就是喜歡有事沒(méi)事擺個(gè)黃飛鴻似的笑,搞個(gè)蒙娜麗莎似的微笑。都是自以為很酷而已,如果了大家的風(fēng)頭不要介意啊,如來(lái)佛主,天地觀音我可沒(méi)那心啊。
不管大家對(duì)信任與否都得投我一票,如果你不信任我投我一票以示你對(duì)我不不信任。
最后再次說(shuō)聲謝謝大家!
高中搞笑五分鐘演講稿范文篇三
飛機(jī)在一陣劇烈的顫抖之后,空中小褲突然表情凝重地為每個(gè)乘客都發(fā)了一張紙和一枝筆,隨后,機(jī)長(zhǎng)那渾厚而壓抑的聲音出現(xiàn)在廣播里:“很不幸地告訴大家一個(gè)消息,由于飛機(jī)出現(xiàn)故障,將在4分鐘后墜毀,請(qǐng)大家盡快書(shū)寫(xiě)遺言,交給乘務(wù)員。否則,您將失去與親人的最后一次聯(lián)系機(jī)會(huì)!”人們把臉貼到窗上往外看,沒(méi)錯(cuò),正往上飛的云告訴他們飛機(jī)正在跌落。“天哪!”機(jī)艙中一片騷動(dòng),幾個(gè)女人開(kāi)始哭泣。“請(qǐng)抓緊時(shí)間吧!”機(jī)長(zhǎng)再次催促。人們無(wú)奈地握起筆,開(kāi)始給親人寫(xiě)信。
飛機(jī)墜毀在一片叢林里,機(jī)上乘客無(wú)一幸免。搜救人員找到了裝有乘客遺書(shū)的特殊裝置,發(fā)現(xiàn)大部分遺書(shū)都是關(guān)于思念親人和遺產(chǎn)分配的,但也有幾封非常特殊,引人深思。
一位第三者寫(xiě)給她的情人:我想這是報(bào)應(yīng),我破壞了你的家庭,傷害了你的妻子,最終卻沒(méi)能擁有你。不論我是飛到天堂還是下到地獄,我的靈魂都不會(huì)安息,為你、為她也為我們大家,永遠(yuǎn)懺悔!
一位官員寫(xiě)給他妻子:對(duì)不起老婆,我有兩件事瞞著你,一是我私存了一筆錢(qián),有5萬(wàn)余元,存折就放在衛(wèi)生間中裝手紙的匣子下面,密碼是你的生日。二是我一直想和你離婚,但卻沒(méi)有勇氣,我實(shí)在是厭倦了你的嘮叨。但這回不必了,老天替我們辦了離婚手續(xù)。孩子就交給你了。
一位癌癥患者寫(xiě)給他的父母:本想在跳入大海前寫(xiě)給你們,可是來(lái)不及了,事故讓我連這最后的愿望都沒(méi)能實(shí)現(xiàn)。如果還能找到我的尸體的話,請(qǐng)一定將骨灰撒入大海。不孝兒,絕筆!
一位詩(shī)人寫(xiě)給一位編輯:這一刻,我的心真正飛了起來(lái)。不過(guò),恐懼是翅膀,目的地是死亡。
一位企業(yè)家寫(xiě)給他的副手:和某某官員的關(guān)系繼續(xù)搞,和某某公司的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)繼續(xù)來(lái);某某廠的貨錢(qián)繼續(xù)欠,某某銀行的貸款繼續(xù)賴。某某秘書(shū)就不要用了,給她結(jié)清工資,讓她回家。
一位外逃貪官寫(xiě)給遠(yuǎn)在美國(guó)的情婦:都他媽的是你催的!
第8篇 3分鐘搞笑演講稿精選范文
某不公開(kāi)活動(dòng)秘密選拔代言人,不求最好,只求最差。最終ss賽區(qū)兩婦獲得不同年齡組優(yōu)勝,在頒獎(jiǎng)活動(dòng)上,發(fā)表獲獎(jiǎng)感言:
1、要始終具備良好的心理素質(zhì)。老瘦黑臉婆麻桿腿、超短裙、外加拖鞋灰指甲,將80年代夜校大專(zhuān)青年的更年版表現(xiàn)的淋漓盡致,充分彰顯新潮盲目缺陷自信主義風(fēng)格;高胖麻皮婦,肥臀、花邊上衣、假貨加洋涇幫滬語(yǔ),用自身的上位經(jīng)歷徹底顛覆上海排外論,再次驗(yàn)證海納百川,外來(lái)尼姑好念經(jīng)的理論,并一舉成為硬盤(pán)升級(jí),豬頭變翅參的時(shí)代代言人,鼓勵(lì)更多的草包勇敢站起來(lái)。
2、要堅(jiān)持只說(shuō)假話永遠(yuǎn)不說(shuō)真話的首要素質(zhì)。而且要把假話說(shuō)得比真的還真。對(duì)下說(shuō)狠話,對(duì)上說(shuō)好話,開(kāi)會(huì)說(shuō)廢話,表態(tài)說(shuō)套話??傊^不說(shuō)真話。
3、要塑造的堅(jiān)強(qiáng)不屈的女性。丈夫因病因公,對(duì)自己不能實(shí)行人道主義救助,或者編造故事與對(duì)方有共同的對(duì)手和敵人等,都是迅速使自己成為弱勢(shì)聽(tīng)話無(wú)助小女人的最佳理由。在需要和不需要的時(shí)候,要經(jīng)常拿出來(lái)。同時(shí),一定要練習(xí)幾招:如在車(chē)上運(yùn)用股四頭肌的力量,有意無(wú)意扇扇大腿表示炎熱,注意力量速度以引起注意為標(biāo)準(zhǔn),多練習(xí)后如能使對(duì)方忽視自己較差的自身?xiàng)l件的為高手;熟練掌握喝完酒裝醉站立不穩(wěn)時(shí)的重心,要將胸大肌與對(duì)方的手掌或臉部接觸最佳,該技術(shù)涉及個(gè)人身高限制,一般比較難練;也可以懂裝不懂深夜請(qǐng)示,特別是在異性酒多后,以探討工作為由突然拜訪,如能控制在對(duì)方洗澡前后為最佳。
4、要始終堅(jiān)持不懂裝懂的堅(jiān)定信念。在工作中,自己永遠(yuǎn)是正確的。讓身邊的人相信自己,所以堅(jiān)決嫉妒那些不斷學(xué)習(xí),比自己有文化,懂政策,能力強(qiáng)的人。要不斷抓住任何機(jī)會(huì)打擊報(bào)復(fù),或編造流言壓制他們,同時(shí)拿出禿頭撐傘的膽量,牢固樹(shù)立自己美女加才女形象。
5、永遠(yuǎn)只推薦比自己能力差的人。始終堅(jiān)持只用笨的不用精的,培養(yǎng)屬狗的,推薦拍手的。
由于很多涉及知識(shí)產(chǎn)權(quán),兩婦表示獲獎(jiǎng)感言不再多講,教會(huì)徒弟餓死師傅時(shí)有發(fā)生。最后在大家的掌聲中,又補(bǔ)充以下幾點(diǎn):
1、要加強(qiáng)五官新分工
2、要敢于做什么卻不立牌坊
3、要不斷補(bǔ)鈣,保護(hù)牙齒,不讓別人有機(jī)會(huì)說(shuō)我們沒(méi)有牙齒。
時(shí)間關(guān)系下次再聚。希望五年后,大家都能成為和我們一樣的精英!
演講稿
第9篇 搞笑課前三分鐘演講稿
搞笑課前三分鐘演講稿一
親愛(ài)的同學(xué)們:
你喜歡自己?jiǎn)?你對(duì)自己滿意嗎?你很羨慕某些人,甚至愿意自己也成為他嗎?如果你對(duì)自己有疑惑,那么我來(lái)告訴你:就像每一片葉子都有它獨(dú)特的形狀,每一朵花兒都有它獨(dú)特的香味,我們每一個(gè)人都是世上獨(dú)一無(wú)二的個(gè)體,在這個(gè)世界上,沒(méi)有兩個(gè)人是完全一樣的。我們每一個(gè)人的存在,都有自己的價(jià)值與意義,別人可以比我好,也可以比我差,但沒(méi)有人可以取代我。美國(guó)少年天使肯尼,一出生就因?yàn)樯眢w畸形截掉雙腿,后來(lái)又發(fā)現(xiàn)切口的根部被癌細(xì)胞侵入,只好把腰部以下的身體全部切除。但是,肯尼并沒(méi)有向病魔低頭,他在家人的幫助下向自己的生命挑戰(zhàn),拼命練習(xí)生存技能,使得自己日漸獨(dú)立,能跟常人一樣上學(xué),甚至還學(xué)會(huì)了溜滑板、溜冰??夏岬纳敲利惖摹?dòng)人的。
有時(shí)候我們以為遭遇到的危機(jī)使我們走投無(wú)路了,卻在事后發(fā)現(xiàn)這是生命的轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)。美麗的生命在于勇于更新,且愿意努力學(xué)習(xí)?;紴榈拍苁股鼰ㄈ灰恍?。人的一生也需要蛻變才能成長(zhǎng)。每一次蛻變都回帶你走進(jìn)人生的新領(lǐng)域、新境界,使你獲得新的感受、新的驚喜。
健康的我們,更要學(xué)會(huì)容忍自己的不足和缺點(diǎn)。俗話說(shuō)人無(wú)完人。正因?yàn)檫@樣,我們才要不斷學(xué)習(xí)、不斷提高自己。如何在正視不足和缺點(diǎn)的前提下,采取積極的行動(dòng)來(lái)彌補(bǔ)不足、克服缺點(diǎn)呢?一方面要正確和別人做比較,認(rèn)識(shí)到自己在群體中處于什么樣的位置,尋找以后努力的方向;另一方面要正確認(rèn)識(shí)自己。不要只從不同的方面平價(jià)自己,卻看不到自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn),老覺(jué)得“某某的學(xué)習(xí)比我好,某某的書(shū)法比我好,某某的琴比我彈得好”,而實(shí)際上每個(gè)人身上都有自己的閃光點(diǎn):學(xué)習(xí)好的可能體育不如你,書(shū)法好的可能學(xué)習(xí)不如你,不要一味給自己挑毛病。既能夠看到閃光點(diǎn),也能夠看到不足之處,對(duì)自己的認(rèn)識(shí)才會(huì)全面,才能更好的取長(zhǎng)補(bǔ)短。
臺(tái)灣著名作家瓊瑤,小時(shí)候除了語(yǔ)文外,其他學(xué)科成績(jī)并不好。有一次,數(shù)學(xué)考試她只考了20分,學(xué)校發(fā)給她一張“通知單”,要她拿回去給父母蓋章。捱到深夜,她鼓足勇氣拿著通知書(shū)交給母親。母親整個(gè)臉色都陰暗下去,將他好好責(zé)罵了一頓。她絕望的給母親寫(xiě)了一封長(zhǎng)信,服毒自殺,幸虧搶救及時(shí),才沒(méi)有造成終身的遺憾。從死神手中逃回來(lái)的她,分析了自己的長(zhǎng)處與短處,下決心取長(zhǎng)補(bǔ)短,專(zhuān)心寫(xiě)作。父母默認(rèn)了她的追求,她開(kāi)始發(fā)揮自己寫(xiě)作方面的長(zhǎng)處,真正追求自己的事業(yè),最終取得了令人羨慕的成就。
所以我們要多鼓勵(lì)自己:“成績(jī)單不漂亮沒(méi)關(guān)系,只要我努力,就是一名好學(xué)生!”“基礎(chǔ)不好沒(méi)關(guān)系,只要我每天都有進(jìn)步,就是一種成功!”“我的生活是充滿陽(yáng)光的,努力的我最美麗!”這樣自信的度過(guò)每一天,你會(huì)越來(lái)越體驗(yàn)到:我的人生是非常有價(jià)值的,我是最棒的!
搞笑課前三分鐘演講稿二
敬愛(ài)的老師,親愛(ài)的同學(xué)們,大家早上好。
在現(xiàn)代社會(huì)中家家都富裕了,可有一些人他們?yōu)榱俗约旱睦?,到處在污染水資源。
水是我們生化中不可缺少的東西之一,如果沒(méi)有了水,人們就會(huì)活活地被渴死,沒(méi)有了水莊稼就會(huì)無(wú)法生長(zhǎng),人們就不能做自己想做的事了,即使你多么有錢(qián)、有地位最后也只能面臨死亡。
據(jù)我的調(diào)查,中國(guó)現(xiàn)在各個(gè)地方都在缺水,只要能讓他們喝上一口水,他們就會(huì)多活一天,就會(huì)多一個(gè)希望。
在生活中,處處可以見(jiàn)到人們?cè)诶速M(fèi)水的現(xiàn)象,如公共廁所盤(pán),人們洗完手以后,水龍頭一開(kāi)就忘了關(guān),只能讓水白白地溜掉,到那時(shí)候,空氣就會(huì)變得很干燥,呼吸都很困難,地面上到處是魚(yú)的殘髂。
因此,我建議,我們生活中應(yīng)該節(jié)約用水,每天洗澡洗完的水可以用來(lái)沖馬桶,洗衣服剩下的水可以用來(lái)澆花,最重要的就是不能污染河流。
為了能讓世界不再缺水,我們應(yīng)該行動(dòng)起來(lái),節(jié)約用水保護(hù)水資源。
搞笑課前三分鐘演講稿三
奏響雄壯的國(guó)歌,揚(yáng)起鮮紅的國(guó)旗,終于——我們步入了高中生活~我們?yōu)檫@個(gè)時(shí)刻而感到驕傲和自豪。 時(shí)光飛逝,歲月荏苒,我們已由昔日幼稚的孩童成長(zhǎng)為今天的翩翩少年?;仡櫷簦覀儫o(wú)怨無(wú)悔,展望明天,我們信心十足。如今,我們的生活不再如以前一般輕松;走進(jìn)了高中,我們的日子也多了一些疲憊。但是面對(duì)不管面對(duì)什么,我們?nèi)詫⑴G暫棘,奮然前行。 雄鷹在風(fēng)雨中練就堅(jiān)實(shí)的翅膀,梅花在嚴(yán)寒中綻放撲鼻的芬芳。在今天這個(gè)充滿競(jìng)爭(zhēng)的時(shí)代,我們不會(huì)畏畏縮縮,瞻前顧后,我們將在競(jìng)爭(zhēng)中學(xué)會(huì)生存,在逆境中譜寫(xiě)人生的樂(lè)章。正如一位哲人所說(shuō):對(duì)于凌駕于命運(yùn)之上的人,信心是命運(yùn)的主宰! 任前方荊棘叢生,我們?nèi)詫⒊种院?。茫茫學(xué)海中,我們爭(zhēng)做勇敢的水手,乘風(fēng)破浪、共赴前程,古人云:艱難困苦,玉汝于成?!扒啻旱哪_步如行云流,青春的歲月容不得斗點(diǎn)浪費(fèi)。同學(xué)們,讓我們把握好生命中的每一天,向著金色的彼岸前行。 臨淵羨魚(yú),不如退而結(jié)網(wǎng)。 用我們的智慧和勇氣揚(yáng)起理想的風(fēng)帆,用我們的青春和生命奏響時(shí)代的強(qiáng)音!當(dāng)我們拋棄了迷茫,把握了航向;當(dāng)我們勤字當(dāng)頭,不懈地?fù)u槳,命運(yùn)的閘門(mén)會(huì)向我們敞開(kāi),誘人的時(shí)刻終將到來(lái)! 未來(lái)不是夢(mèng),今天,在我們手中! 以激-情為旗,用青春作注,拼一個(gè)無(wú)悔的人生!
什么是朋友?誰(shuí)是你最好的朋友?你了解他(她)嗎? 在千萬(wàn)年之中,在時(shí)間的無(wú)邊荒野里,沒(méi)有早一步,也沒(méi)有晚一步,剛巧趕上;于千萬(wàn)人之中,你遇見(jiàn)了你所遇見(jiàn)的人,他(她)也許就是你的朋友。 人生短短幾十年,不要給自己留下什么遺憾才好。想笑的時(shí)候就笑,想哭的時(shí)候就哭,把不盡人意,不順心的事一次性、干干凈凈的發(fā)泄出來(lái),但不快樂(lè)、傷心、難過(guò)全都只是過(guò)程,惟有快樂(lè)才是終點(diǎn),千萬(wàn)不要把世事都看得太完美! 如果朋友讓你生氣,那只能說(shuō)明你還在意你們之間的感情,也許他(她)就是你最好的朋友,為什么不把心放寬點(diǎn)呢? 知道嗎?什么是益友?什么是損友? 我認(rèn)為益友就是為了朋友兩肋插刀的人,當(dāng)然具體情況又具體分析,為什么事而兩肋插刀有是另一回事了;而損友就是你為了他(她)兩肋插刀,而(她)卻反過(guò)來(lái)插兩刀!! 其實(shí),我們活得很艱難。確實(shí),我們既要承受種種來(lái)自外部的壓力,又要面對(duì)自己內(nèi)心的困惑。在苦苦掙扎中,如果有人向你伸出援助之手,投以理解的目光(而這個(gè)人就是你的益友),你就會(huì)感到一種來(lái)自原始生命的暖意。 有些事情我們無(wú)法控制,所以我們只好控制自己。雖然有些人很可惡,有些人很卑鄙,但當(dāng)我們?cè)O(shè)身處地的為他們著想時(shí),才知道,他們其實(shí)比我們還可憐,所以,請(qǐng)?jiān)從愫捱^(guò)的人,原諒那些壞人,所謂的好人! 生活中,不斷有人離開(kāi)或出現(xiàn),而我也即將離開(kāi)這個(gè)舞臺(tái),于是,看見(jiàn)的,看不見(jiàn)了;記住的,遺忘了;生活中也不斷有得到和失落,于是,看不見(jiàn),看見(jiàn)了;遺忘的,記住了。它們就這樣交替著,更改著,不知疲倦。 然而,看不見(jiàn)的,是不是就等于不存在呢? 記住了的,是不是就代表永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)消失? 而我們是不是應(yīng)該記住該記住的,遺忘該遺忘的,改變能改變的,接受不能改變的呢? 我不知道我現(xiàn)在做的哪些是對(duì)的,哪些又是錯(cuò)的,所以我現(xiàn)在能做的就是盡力做好每一件事。 能沖刷一切的除了眼淚就是時(shí)間。 最好我告訴大家一個(gè)心得體會(huì):同學(xué)只有1年或2年,最多3年,而朋友有一輩子!!!
搞笑課前三分鐘演講稿四
尊敬的老師,親愛(ài)的同學(xué)們,大家早上好!
按照慣例,這次輪到我來(lái)做“課前三分鐘勵(lì)志演講”,下面我要演講的題目是樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度。
曾看過(guò)這樣一段話:小鳥(niǎo)說(shuō):我從天空中飛過(guò),但天空中沒(méi)有留下我的痕跡。泰戈?duì)栒f(shuō),天空中沒(méi)有留下我的痕跡,但我已飛過(guò)。同樣的狀況,卻有兩種不同的態(tài)度,相信后者的態(tài)度更能贏得大家的認(rèn)可。其實(shí)生活是一面鏡子,你對(duì)他笑,他就會(huì)向你露出笑臉,你對(duì)它哭,那么你最終只會(huì)收獲沮喪的心情。
或許有人會(huì)抱怨說(shuō),上天是如此的不公平,努力奮斗多年的我到現(xiàn)在為止還是一個(gè)經(jīng)理助手。寒窗苦讀十二年書(shū)的我,最終還是沒(méi)能考上理想的大學(xué)。然而,這些抱怨無(wú)法改變現(xiàn)實(shí),只能加重自己的煩惱,何不以積極樂(lè)觀的心態(tài)看待呢?
相反的,正如我們熟知的林肯先生,在遭受24歲經(jīng)商失敗,26歲愛(ài)人死去,27歲精神崩潰,中年時(shí)代多次競(jìng)選參議員和副總統(tǒng),卻均以失敗告終,可面對(duì)如此多的打擊與磨難,他始終沒(méi)有放棄自己的夢(mèng)想,而是以積極的生活態(tài)度應(yīng)對(duì)這些不如意,最終他成為美國(guó)第十六任總統(tǒng),正是這積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度,讓林肯最終實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的理想。
相信,假若沒(méi)有積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度,摔殘肢體的桑蘭,高位截肢的張海迪,生命中沒(méi)有光明與黑暗的海倫—?jiǎng)P勒,他們同樣不會(huì)有燦爛的人生,也就不會(huì)贏得世人的尊重與贊美。
親愛(ài)的朋友們,雖然我們無(wú)法預(yù)知下一秒會(huì)發(fā)生怎樣的事情,但相信只要我們持一種積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度,我們生活一直是快樂(lè)的。所以,即使有一千個(gè)理由哭泣,也要為自己找出一萬(wàn)個(gè)理由微笑,這樣,我們的生活就會(huì)充滿更多的陽(yáng)光和快樂(lè)。
第10篇 大學(xué)生搞笑演講稿
匆匆,太匆匆,時(shí)間真是跑的比兔子還快,大一穿著土不拉嘰的綠軍裝在太陽(yáng)下暴曬的情景還歷歷在目,轉(zhuǎn)眼就到了大四?;叵胨哪曜哌^(guò)的路,感到收獲不小,這四年沒(méi)有白過(guò)。
這短短的四年,卻是我的人生中彌足珍貴的四年。在這四年里,用脫胎換骨來(lái)形容并不為過(guò)??偨Y(jié)過(guò)去可以撥開(kāi)時(shí)間的迷霧,清晰的回首所走過(guò)的路,從而為將來(lái)的人生旅程準(zhǔn)備一些經(jīng)驗(yàn)和教訓(xùn)。
大學(xué)四年的生活主線是學(xué)習(xí)。大學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)是迥然不同于以往的一種新形式,它賦予了學(xué)習(xí)者更大的自主性和更廣闊的思維空間,同時(shí)也對(duì)學(xué)習(xí)者提出了更高的要求。在這種半開(kāi)放式的教學(xué)模式下,要求學(xué)習(xí)者必須有明確的學(xué)習(xí)目的,有更強(qiáng)的選擇辨別能力和更強(qiáng)的自學(xué)能力。對(duì)于這個(gè)方面,我應(yīng)該感謝大學(xué)這四年的學(xué)習(xí)生涯,在這期間的歷次挫折與成功,使我真正知道了怎樣進(jìn)行自我學(xué)習(xí),怎樣有選擇有目的的學(xué)習(xí),隨之而來(lái)的是自己自學(xué)能力和學(xué)習(xí)效率的提高。而學(xué)習(xí)之外的課外科技活動(dòng)的參與,同時(shí)也是對(duì)所學(xué)知識(shí)的一種鞏固和加強(qiáng),它不僅提高了我的動(dòng)手能力,拓寬了我的知識(shí)面,而且在不斷的探索過(guò)程中,也促使自己學(xué)習(xí)更多更新的東西,這更進(jìn)一步豐富了自己的理論知識(shí)。
在四年里,所得不僅僅是知識(shí)上的東西,校園嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)踏實(shí)的學(xué)風(fēng),求實(shí)創(chuàng)新的氣氛,同時(shí)也潛移默化的影響著我的學(xué)習(xí)和思維,所有這些能力和思維模式的獲得,是我?guī)啄陮W(xué)習(xí)的最大收獲,這也必將影響我未來(lái)一生的發(fā)展。
在一個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)的過(guò)程中,需要的不僅是知識(shí)的積累,還需要正確的思想基礎(chǔ)和正確的人生觀、價(jià)值觀。知識(shí)可以不斷獲得,而人生觀一旦形成,對(duì)一個(gè)人的一生都有難以估量的影響。在沙師的這幾年,我可以明確感受到學(xué)校在教書(shū)的同時(shí),對(duì)育人這一環(huán)節(jié)的重視。各種各樣的主題活動(dòng),各種各樣的思想探索,都影響著我的人生觀的形成。在未入大學(xué)之前,人生觀對(duì)于我而言,是屬于比較虛幻的東西,我雖然能感覺(jué)到它的存在和作用,卻沒(méi)有形成一個(gè)明確的概念。在大學(xué)四年的學(xué)習(xí)生活中,由于自己的思考、學(xué)習(xí)和一些外在因素的作用,使我基本形成了一整套對(duì)人生的看法。對(duì)于人生,每個(gè)人都有自己的追求。生命對(duì)于宇宙而言,不過(guò)是一個(gè)短短的瞬間,而對(duì)于個(gè)人而言,則只有永不回頭的一次機(jī)會(huì)。
總之,向著自己的目標(biāo)前進(jìn),充實(shí)的過(guò)好每一天,只要無(wú)悔,便是成功。而成才而言,則是一個(gè)漫長(zhǎng)積累的過(guò)程,必須要執(zhí)著進(jìn)取,踏實(shí)奮斗,才有望品嘗成功的喜悅。人在不同的時(shí)期會(huì)有不同的觀點(diǎn)和想法,但這只是形式上的改變,其基礎(chǔ)卻已深深扎根于思維深處,是再難改變的。在以后的生活中,積極向上,笑對(duì)人生將是我的原則和動(dòng)力,愛(ài)國(guó)愛(ài)家,踏實(shí)進(jìn)取則是我人生成才的基石。
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第11篇 三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文
三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文篇一
once upon a time, a weenie ant was walking on his way. as he was walking, suddenly he felt the ground shaking terribly. he looked around with his paranoid eyes and saw an elephant walking right behind him. quickly, the little ant covered himself with dirt, but one leg was unfortunately left out. a sparrow saw everything, so she flew down with the purpose of teasing the ant: “hey, chicken! watch out your leg, it’s out!” the ant felt embarrassed at first but then calmly responded: “ shi…i am going to trip that elephant.”
right now, i’m standing on this glamorous stage. but everything here reminds me of is a not so fun memory. around this time last year i was in nanjing competing in another speech contest. that was the first time for me to be in such a large event. of course the pressure i was under was immense too. after a sleepless and stressful night, i went onto that stage without the feeling in my legs. that speech turned out to be horrible. i don’t remember how i get down from there, but i do remember afterwards i just wanted to find a hole to hide in just like the ant in the story. back at my school, it took a long time for me to recover. thanks to all the help i got from my special friends. my confidence was restored. after rounds of giving speeches and answering tough questions, i am here today. from all that i’ve been through i’ve learned that a good future is based on a forgotten past, if i want my life to go on well i have to let go of my past failure. so today, with out fear, i am tripping my elephant again.
三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文篇二
good morning,dear teacher and my friends.
it’s a very intresting topic today.
i think my dad was a hero for me when i was a young child. we'd go fishing, walks, and other fun things for a kid.
every child has a good and great father, and so do i. my dad played a very important role in my daily life`````e_actly speaking, in my past 16 years.
my father always stands in the center of my life, from past till now and possibly in the future.
my family was rather poor when i was in my childhood. we didn't have our own house and had to live in a shabby, small room rented from my father's factory. the room was so small that there was little space for people to walk. i didn't have my own bed and had to sleep with my parents. this is terrible both for my parents and me.
but father made this all different!he works very hard on his own business, now we have our own 2 housese,surly,i have my own room.and he take our family so much happiness, richer and richer.
when i was little, i did everything with my dad. you could always find me sitting on his knee or walking and doing everything with him. every night he would read me a bed time story and make the voices of each character.
i learnt a lot from my daddy. i learnt to never take things to seriously and to always smile.
like many other fathers, my dad and i also has generation gap. he is not good at or even can’t work the computer. so when i sitting at the computer desk,he will say something like ‘you should pay more attention to your study’, ‘don’t waste time on the computer games’ , ‘it will be bad for your eyes’ and so on. how can i- a computer fan – reduce time on computer? so i continue studying and playing on it
years pasted, my father is over 45 now. it is time for me to look after him and i am sure i will do and we will live an even better life. and i will say,i really love you dad,cause you are the hero in my mind.
thank you so much!
三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文篇三
the footsteps of the __ world e_po is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world e_po __, e_po __ shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.
world e_po is a great influence and a long history of international activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. e_po set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.
world e_po is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest e_perience enthusiasm and happiness.
everyone to contribute for the e_po, we are no e_ception, as a living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow
, we have to do for the world e_po will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking ... ..., hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to e_citing __, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world e_po foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the __ e_po, then, we want to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, a
bout our education for the world e_po will contribute their efforts.
we e_pect the majority of teachers will be great enthusiasm for the world e_po into practical action to meet the world e_po, the e_po will be a total growth, and the city of development, the development of shanghai devote their efforts to advance hand in hand with shanghai.
三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿篇四
good afternoon ,ladies and gentlemen!
i’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! to begin with ,i want to ask a question .does everybody dream a good dream last night? actually ,today i want to talk about dream with you. of course, what i want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.
everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners(水手),we can chart our course by them. with the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.with the dream, there is hope,with hope, we have the strength to fight.
i have a dream: to be a doctor.,because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. may let the human change the health. at the same time, i believed that, those who help others may be able to obtain joyfully. therefore, i hoped in the near future ,i might be a doctor.
but i know,life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead .
young!fortunately, i am young now. just due to it, i know that nothing is impossible.i firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. if i can't realize my dream,it result from that i haven't work harder enough and i won't find other e_cuses. if no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. if you think the god haven't blessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth.
'my breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains.' at some time in the past i also had am bitious words and i had some achievements. each achievement results from my hard work. i always believe that 'if you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder.' in some e_tent, the dream is the hope. if you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.
hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. so my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. let's--- move ----out!
thank you for your listening!
三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿篇五
good afternoon!
recently, ther is a heated debate in our society. the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive e_ceptional education at e_traordinary places. but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country?
the cynics say the college students are the pampered lost generation, which would cringe at the slightest discomfort. but the cynics are wrong. the college students i see are eagerly learning about how to live independently. we help each other clean the dormitory, go shopping and bargain together, and take part time jobs to supplement our pocket money.
the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades; and we neglect the need for character cultivation. but again, the cynics are wrong. we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth. last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.
as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives. we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the future of our country. i believe in all my fellow classmates. though we are still ine_perienced and even a little bit childish. i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities. we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place. i believe in our future.
三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿篇六
love your mother
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?
'because i'm a woman,' she told him.
'i don't understand,' he said.
his mom just hugged him and said,
'and you never will, but that's o.k.'.......
later the little boy asked his father,
'why does mom seem to cry for no reason?'.
'all women cry for no reason,' was all his dad could say......
the little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked 'god, why do women cry so easily?'
god answered......
'when i made woman,
i decided she had to be special.
i made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
i gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
i gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....
she has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's an_ieties and fears....
i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....
第12篇 搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白
搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白
演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白搞笑1
不好意思,各位,你們來(lái)錯(cuò)地方了,今天的演講取消了;我想我們并不需要什么演講,我們需要的是真心的溝通,那么,我們今天真心的溝通就開(kāi)始了。(一上場(chǎng)就跟聽(tīng)眾講今天的演講取消了,所有人都會(huì)非常驚訝,然后想到底怎么回事?此時(shí)聽(tīng)眾的注意力全都被吸引到了演講者的身上,然后演講者開(kāi)始說(shuō):'我們今天真心的`溝通就開(kāi)始了。'接下去就開(kāi)始演講,這種方式最大的好處就是能迅速抓住聽(tīng)眾的注意力。)
'朋友們,有些人真是經(jīng)營(yíng)有道,投機(jī)有方?。∮幸皇住对E竅銘》這一告訴我們:位不在高,頭尖則靈;官不在大,手長(zhǎng)則行;斯是訣竅,唯吾鉆營(yíng);對(duì)上捧粗腿,對(duì)下用私人;吹牛走鴻運(yùn),拍馬不碰針,可以開(kāi)后門(mén),講交情。無(wú)正義之細(xì)胞,無(wú)原則之準(zhǔn)繩,煙酒來(lái)開(kāi)道,金錢(qián)能通神??鬃釉唬汉伪芍校?
演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白搞笑
第13篇 勵(lì)志搞笑的演講稿
尊敬的老師,親愛(ài)的同學(xué)們,大家早上好!
按照慣例,這次輪到我來(lái)做“課前三分鐘勵(lì)志演講”,下面我要演講的題目是樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度。
曾看過(guò)這樣一段話:小鳥(niǎo)說(shuō):我從天空中飛過(guò),但天空中沒(méi)有留下我的痕跡。泰戈?duì)栒f(shuō),天空中沒(méi)有留下我的痕跡,但我已飛過(guò)。同樣的狀況,卻有兩種不同的態(tài)度,相信后者的態(tài)度更能贏得大家的認(rèn)可。其實(shí)生活是一面鏡子,你對(duì)他笑,他就會(huì)向你露出笑臉,你對(duì)它哭,那么你最終只會(huì)收獲沮喪的心情。
或許有人會(huì)抱怨說(shuō),上天是如此的不公平,努力奮斗多年的我到現(xiàn)在為止還是一個(gè)經(jīng)理助手。寒窗苦讀十二年書(shū)的我,最終還是沒(méi)能考上理想的大學(xué)。然而,這些抱怨無(wú)法改變現(xiàn)實(shí),只能加重自己的煩惱,何不以積極樂(lè)觀的心態(tài)看待呢? 相反的,正如我們熟知的林肯先生,在遭受24歲經(jīng)商失敗,26歲愛(ài)人死去,27歲精神崩潰,中年時(shí)代多次競(jìng)選參議員和副總統(tǒng),卻均以失敗告終,可面對(duì)如此多的打擊與磨難,他始終沒(méi)有放棄自己的夢(mèng)想,而是以積極的生活態(tài)度應(yīng)對(duì)這些不如意,最終他成為美國(guó)第十六任總統(tǒng),正是這積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度,讓林肯最終實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的理想。
相信,假若沒(méi)有積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度,摔殘肢體的桑蘭,高位截肢的張海迪,生命中沒(méi)有光明與黑暗的海倫—?jiǎng)P勒,他們同樣不會(huì)有燦爛的人生,也就不會(huì)贏得世人的尊重與贊美。 親愛(ài)的朋友們,雖然我們無(wú)法預(yù)知下一秒會(huì)發(fā)生怎樣的事情,但相信只要我們持一種積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度,我們生活一直是快樂(lè)的。所以,即使有一千個(gè)理由哭泣,也要為自己找出一萬(wàn)個(gè)理由微笑,這樣,我們的生活就會(huì)充滿更多的陽(yáng)光和快樂(lè)。
課前三分鐘勵(lì)志演講稿二 同學(xué)們: 大家好! 作為剛邁入初中的學(xué)生,我們正前行在人生奮斗的征途中,萬(wàn)里長(zhǎng)征,我們剛剛起步。就在這起步的階段,我們獲得過(guò)掌聲,也遭逢過(guò)挫折。月考與競(jìng)賽后的幾家歡樂(lè)幾家愁,就是最好的證明。面對(duì)成績(jī),無(wú)疑要?jiǎng)俣或湥俳釉賲?而面對(duì)失敗,我們則要堅(jiān)定地說(shuō),切莫放棄。
亞伯拉罕?林肯先生,24歲經(jīng)商失敗,26歲戀人死去,27歲精神崩潰,中年時(shí)代多次競(jìng)選參議員和副總統(tǒng),均告失敗?;蛟S只有這些,才能算得上人生中真正的挫折??擅鎸?duì)這么多挫折,林肯并沒(méi)有放棄自己的追求,而是仍舊堅(jiān)持不懈地努力。最終,他成為了美國(guó)第十六任總統(tǒng)。正是因?yàn)闆Q不在挫折面前輕言放棄,林肯最終實(shí)現(xiàn)了自己的理想。
如今的我們,將理想分成了幾個(gè)小目標(biāo),一個(gè)一個(gè)地去奮斗、去努力。比如說(shuō)在月考中取得好成績(jī),比如說(shuō)在生活中成功進(jìn)行富有挑戰(zhàn)性的活動(dòng)。倘若我們因?yàn)橐稽c(diǎn)小小的挫折就輕易說(shuō)放棄,那些目標(biāo)又有什么意義?上蒼賦予我們生命,就是要我們?nèi)ゲ恍傅仄床 ?/p>
同學(xué)們,決不輕言放棄是一種美德,更是一種積極的人生態(tài)度。我們無(wú)法創(chuàng)造命運(yùn),但我們可以以實(shí)際行動(dòng)改變命運(yùn),我們可以向命運(yùn)中的艱難困苦挑戰(zhàn)。不被困難所嚇倒,不言放棄,終能歷經(jīng)風(fēng)雨見(jiàn)彩虹,譜寫(xiě)精彩的人生。
桑蘭摔殘了肢體,張海迪高位截癱,海倫?凱勒的生命中沒(méi)有光明與黑暗,可她們從未放棄自己對(duì)美好理想的追求。正是不輕言放棄,她們有了壯美的人生,贏得了世人的尊重。
白駒過(guò)隙,流水無(wú)痕。在匆匆忙忙的塵世中,我們能做的只有不懈地努力,不懈地奮斗,最終實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的理想。這,才是我們生命的意義。 無(wú)論前路多么坎坷,“決不輕言放棄”將永遠(yuǎn)是我們?nèi)松非蟮挠篮銊?dòng)力。
第14篇 三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿
三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文
三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文1
the footsteps of the __ world e_po is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world e_po __, e_po __ shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.
world e_po is a great influence and a long history of international activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. e_po set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.
world e_po is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest e_perience enthusiasm and happiness.
everyone to contribute for the e_po, we are no e_ception, as a living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow
, we have to do for the world e_po will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking ... ..., hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to e_citing __, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world e_po foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the __ e_po, then, we want to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, a
bout our education for the world e_po will contribute their efforts.
we e_pect the majority of teachers will be great enthusiasm for the world e_po into practical action to meet the world e_po, the e_po will be a total growth, and the city of development, the development of shanghai devote their efforts to advance hand in hand with shanghai.
三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文2
good afternoon!
recently, ther is a heated debate in our society. the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive e_ceptional education at e_traordinary places. but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country?
the cynics say the college students are the pampered lost generation, which would cringe at the slightest discomfort. but the cynics are wrong. the college students i see are eagerly learning about how to live independently. we help each other clean the dormitory, go shopping and bargain together, and take part time jobs to supplement our pocket money.
the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades; and we neglect the need for character cultivation. but again, the cynics are wrong. we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth. last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.
as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives. we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the future of our country. i believe in all my fellow classmates. though we are still ine_perienced and even a little bit childish. i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities. we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place. i believe in our future.
三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文3
good afternoon ,ladies and gentlemen!
i’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! to begin with ,i want to ask a question .does everybody dream a good dream last night? actually ,today i want to talk about dream with you. of course, what i want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.
everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners(水手),we can chart our course by them. with the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.with the dream, there is hope,with hope, we have the strength to fight.
i have a dream: to be a doctor.,because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. may let the human change the health. at the same time, i believed that, those who help others may be able to obtain joyfully. therefore, i hoped in the near future ,i might be a doctor.
but i know,life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead .
young!fortunately, i am young now. just due to it, i know that nothing is impossible.i firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. if i can't realize my dream,it result from that i haven't work harder enough and i won't find other e_cuses. if no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. if you think the god haven't blessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth.
'my breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains.' at some time in the past i also had am bitious words and i had some achievements. each achievement results from my hard work. i always believe that 'if you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder.' in some e_tent, the dream is the hope. if you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.
hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. so my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. let's--- move ----out!
thank you for your listening!
三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文4
good morning,dear teacher and my friends.
it’s a very intresting topic today.
i think my dad was a hero for me when i was a young child. we'd go fishing, walks, and other fun things for a kid.
every child has a good and great father, and so do i. my dad played a very important role in my daily life`````e_actly speaking, in my past 16 years.
my father always stands in the center of my life, from past till now and possibly in the future.
my family was rather poor when i was in my childhood. we didn't have our own house and had to live in a shabby, small room rented from my father's factory. the room was so small that there was little space for people to walk. i didn't have my own bed and had to sleep with my parents. this is terrible both for my parents and me.
but father made this all different!he works very hard on his own business, now we have our own 2 housese,surly,i have my own room.and he take our family so much happiness, richer and richer.
when i was little, i did everything with my dad. you could always find me sitting on his knee or walking and doing everything with him. every night he would read me a bed time story and make the voices of each character.
i learnt a lot from my daddy. i learnt to never take things to seriously and to always smile.
like many other fathers, my dad and i also has generation gap. he is not good at or even can’t work the computer. so when i sitting at the computer desk,he will say something like ‘you should pay more attention to your study’, ‘don’t waste time on the computer games’ , ‘it will be bad for your eyes’ and so on. how can i- a computer fan – reduce time on computer? so i continue studying and playing on it
years pasted, my father is over 45 now. it is time for me to look after him and i am sure i will do and we will live an even better life. and i will say,i really love you dad,cause you are the hero in my mind.
thank you so much!
三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文5
once upon a time, a weenie ant was walking on his way. as he was walking, suddenly he felt the ground shaking terribly. he looked around with his paranoid eyes and saw an elephant walking right behind him. quickly, the little ant covered himself with dirt, but one leg was unfortunately left out. a sparrow saw everything, so she flew down with the purpose of teasing the ant: “hey, chicken! watch out your leg, it’s out!” the ant felt embarrassed at first but then calmly responded: “ shi…i am going to trip that elephant.”
right now, i’m standing on this glamorous stage. but everything here reminds me of is a not so fun memory. around this time last year i was in nanjing competing in another speech contest. that was the first time for me to be in such a large event. of course the pressure i was under was immense too. after a sleepless and stressful night, i went onto that stage without the feeling in my legs. that speech turned out to be horrible. i don’t remember how i get down from there, but i do remember afterwards i just wanted to find a hole to hide in just like the ant in the story. back at my school, it took a long time for me to recover. thanks to all the help i got from my special friends. my confidence was restored. after rounds of giving speeches and answering tough questions, i am here today. from all that i’ve been through i’ve learned that a good future is based on a forgotten past, if i want my life to go on well i have to let go of my past failure. so today, with out fear, i am tripping my elephant again.
三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文6
love your mother
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?
'because i'm a woman,' she told him.
'i don't understand,' he said.
his mom just hugged him and said,
'and you never will, but that's o.k.'.......
later the little boy asked his father,
'why does mom seem to cry for no reason?'.
'all women cry for no reason,' was all his dad could say......
the little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked 'god, why do women cry so easily?'
god answered......
'when i made woman,
i decided she had to be special.
i made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
i gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
i gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....
she has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's an_ieties and fears....
i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....
第15篇 分享搞笑演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白參考
分享搞笑演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白范例參考
演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白重要,有個(gè)好的額結(jié)尾更重要!幽默的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白能充分調(diào)動(dòng)大家的熱情,幽默的演講稿結(jié)尾卻能給人深刻的印象,期待你的下一次演講。因此,小編為您分享幽默的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白和幽默的演講搞結(jié)尾,公司的年會(huì)上秀一把,就在此一舉了啊!
搞笑的演講稿開(kāi)場(chǎng)白
詼諧幽默的開(kāi)場(chǎng),能讓大家會(huì)心一笑,放松整個(gè)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)的氛圍。諧語(yǔ)幽默開(kāi)場(chǎng),可根據(jù)不同的現(xiàn)嘗不同的聽(tīng)眾來(lái)選擇相應(yīng)的`方式,以下提供幾種諧語(yǔ)幽默開(kāi)場(chǎng)例子:
不好意思,各位,你們來(lái)錯(cuò)地方了,今天的演講取消了;我想我們并不需要什么演講,我們需要的是真心的溝通,那么,我們今天真心的溝通就開(kāi)始了。(一上場(chǎng)就跟聽(tīng)眾講今天的演講取消了,所有人都會(huì)非常驚訝,然后想到底怎么回事?此時(shí)聽(tīng)眾的注意力全都被吸引到了演講者的身上,然后演講者開(kāi)始說(shuō):“我們今天真心的溝通就開(kāi)始了?!苯酉氯ゾ烷_(kāi)始演講,這種方式最大的好處就是能迅速抓住聽(tīng)眾的注意力。)
“朋友們,有些人真是經(jīng)營(yíng)有道,投機(jī)有方啊!有一首《訣竅銘》這一告訴我們:位不在高,頭尖則靈;官不在大,手長(zhǎng)則行;斯是訣竅,唯吾鉆營(yíng);對(duì)上捧粗腿,對(duì)下用私人;吹牛走鴻運(yùn),拍馬不碰針,可以開(kāi)后門(mén),講交情。無(wú)正義之細(xì)胞,無(wú)原則之準(zhǔn)繩,煙酒來(lái)開(kāi)道,金錢(qián)能通神??鬃釉唬骸伪芍小?”
我姓胡,所以我接下來(lái)說(shuō)的是胡言,各位不可當(dāng)真(非正式場(chǎng)合發(fā)言前聲明)我姓古,今天是晚上,天上有那么一點(diǎn)月光,與我和在一起就成了胡了,所以我說(shuō)的可能是胡言亂語(yǔ),各位不可計(jì)較呀!
ladiesandgentlemen,有請(qǐng)我閃亮登臺(tái),很喜歡我的請(qǐng)鼓掌,太喜歡我的不要鼓掌,謝謝合作...
這段開(kāi)場(chǎng)白給人們留下了非常坦誠(chéng)、風(fēng)趣幽默的良好印象。不久,在“金話筒之夜”文藝晚會(huì)上,只見(jiàn)他滿臉含笑,對(duì)觀眾說(shuō):“很高興又見(jiàn)到了你們,很不幸又見(jiàn)到了我...
搞笑的演講稿結(jié)尾
幽默使演講結(jié)尾更富情趣,“余音繞梁,三日不絕”是演講結(jié)尾追求的最佳效果。
在多種多樣的演講結(jié)束語(yǔ)中,幽默式可算其中極有情趣的一種。一個(gè)演講者能在結(jié)束時(shí)贏得笑聲,不僅是自己演講技巧十分成熟的表現(xiàn),更能給本人和聽(tīng)眾雙方都留下愉快美好的回憶,也是演講圓滿結(jié)束的標(biāo)志。那么,怎樣才能達(dá)到這種效果呢?
用幽默的語(yǔ)言來(lái)結(jié)束演講
我國(guó)著名作家老舍先生是好幽默的。他在某市的一次演講中,開(kāi)頭即說(shuō)“我今天給大家談六個(gè)問(wèn)題”,接著,他第一、第二、第三、第四、第五,井井有條地談下去。談完第五個(gè)問(wèn)題,他發(fā)現(xiàn)離散會(huì)的時(shí)間不多了,于是他提高嗓門(mén),一本正經(jīng)地說(shuō):“第六,散會(huì)?!甭?tīng)眾起初一愣,不久就歡快地鼓起掌來(lái)。
老舍在這里運(yùn)用的就是一種“平地起波瀾”的造勢(shì)藝術(shù),打破了正常的演講內(nèi)容,從而出乎聽(tīng)眾的意料,收到了幽默的效果。